Last time in class (a class I missed) they looked at Subtext and did and exercise on it, where one team wrote bad on the nose dialogue and the other had to correct it, make it sound more natural and communicate the same points in a sub-textual manner.
Re-written by Jacqui and Tyler
Written by Jacqui and Tyler
Re-written by Izaiah and Sebastion
Patrick pointed out that the part "I would expect, you would know manners, considering you used to be a teacher" is a bit on the nose still and that there is a better way to communicate this. I think a pedophile joke or saying something like "I hope you didn't pass on such manners to the children" (poorly worded). A better way to establish this information would probably be through the Mary-Anne character (she could point out he still treats her like a student).
At this point I was surprised that the relationships people came up with were so intricate and interesting. Good Job guy! 👍
Written by Matt B and Kiarne
Re-Written by Jean and Sam
Written by Jean and Sam
No comments:
Post a Comment